Lexington C.A.R.E.S.As the parent of three current or former Lexington Public Schools students, I have become increasingly committed to the belief that inclusive language, policies, and materials matter to all children, not just those who are different in some manner from traditional norms. While my children and many others have the safety of being in the majority on most aspects of difference, they are not immune to the effects of bias.
Children learn early that terms of difference can be used to mock or bully other children, and unless they also learn early that their peers can be hurt by such terms, they feel empowered to use them. Public schools are microcosms of the pluralistic society in which our children are growing up. Our children need to know that while people are similar in many ways, we are also different in important ways. Our children need to know that they should not assume that their classmates have family backgrounds, values, or configurations just like ours. Our children need to know this so that they will not inadvertently make hurtful assumptions and comments like the children who have informed other children that they don't have "real" families or live with their "real" parents, and so that they will not be silent bystanders if they witness peers making such comments.
The creation of a climate of inclusiveness benefits all students. Any child can be a target for bias and/or bullying based on group membership, regardless of whether or not that child actually belongs to the group in question. Assumptions are made, pejorative terms are used, and the educational environment is made unsafe, not only for the targets, but for those children who observe. The lesson is learned by all: blend in, don't speak up, don't reveal who you are.
Yes, parents have rights. We have the right to have our children attend the public schools without fear of being called pejorative names, bullied, or silenced because of who they or we are or are perceived to be. We have the right to have our children prepared for life in a diverse society where they will inevitably encounter others who are different from them, and where they will benefit by approaching those others with tolerance and respect.
Vicky Parker is a Lexington resident and the chairman of the Estabrook Anti-Bias Committee.