There's no simple way to answer the question "What is a family?" - especially in Lexington.
However, the town has been forced to face this question directly after a parent was arrested at Estabrook Elementary School last Wednesday after a long meeting with school officials regarding materials sent home with his child.
David Parker, of Bedford Street, was arrested by Lexington police after he refused to leave the school building at the conclusion of his meeting with principal Joni Jay and Director of Curriculum and Instruction Andre Ravenelle.
Parker, who has a kindergartner at the school, objected to the content of a book inside the diversity book bag his son brought home. The book, "Who's In a Family," by Robert Skutch, depicts a variety of family situations including same-sex couples with children. Parker informed the school he wanted his child removed from any discussion regarding sexuality and homosexuality, including spontaneous discussions within the classroom.
Parker could not be reached for comment by press time.
According to Lexington Police Chief Christopher Casey, school officials received a call from Estabrook Elementary School at 4 p.m. asking for assistance with a parent. A uniformed officer responded and conferred with school officials, who chose to continue to work with the Parkers and the officer left.
At 5:20 p.m., the school again called the police requesting assistance with Parker who was refusing to leave the meeting room. Two detectives were sent to the school to try and resolve the situation. Tonia Parker, David Parker's wife, left the building before the police arrived.
Parker informed the detectives he was not leaving the school until his demands were met. Jay and Ravenelle had already informed Parker it would be impossible to act on his request of removing his child whenever an objectionable topic spontaneously arose and his request did not fall under policy or statutory language, a fact the detectives again relayed to Parker.
According to Casey, Parker spent much of the time at the school with the officers on his cell phone either making or receiving calls.
Parker informed the detectives he was practicing civil disobedience and understood the implications of his actions.
At approximately 5:45 p.m. officers reported a small group of people had gathered outside the school with a video camera. The group was on school grounds but not inside the school building.
Just before 6:30 p.m., the detectives informed Parker the school needed to be secured for the evening and he could either leave peaceably or he would be charged with trespassing.
According to police he stood up, appearing to prepare to leave and then inquired whether he was under arrest. The officers told him he was not under arrest and Parker allegedly responded "If I'm not under arrest, I'm not leaving." Parker was then placed under arrest for trespassing and taken to the police station by uniformed officers for processing.
"The school department and the police department used an incredible amount of patience and restraint throughout this situation and were left with no other options after about three hours," said Casey.
Upon arrival at the station, the unknown group of people with the camera were behind the police station. Parker was processed without incident and was offered release on personal recognizance. Casey said Parker chose to remain in police custody overnight before his arraignment at Concord District Court Thursday morning.
Parker was served a no trespass order, forbidding him to enter any school property in Lexington with out approval from the superintendent.
Casey said the group Article 8 Alliance, a group protesting same-sex marriage, had e-mail correspondence between Jay and the Parkers on its Web site, along with a grainy photo of a handcuffed Parker being escorted into the police station, within hours of the arrest. The Web site also carried a statement from Parker in which he alleges he was "flat out denied" any accommodation by the Lexington school department in light of his concerns.
Casey said Parker has denied any affiliation to any groups.
"He was not ignored. ... He had his own agenda," said Interim Superintendent of Schools William Hurley.
Part of Parker's objection with the Estabrook Elementary School was centered around the diversity book bag. With one for each classroom and in part sponsored by the anti-bias committee, the bags go home with a student each week. Bags are specifically created for each grade with age-appropriate materials intended for home use with parents or guardians to discuss issues of diversity.
According to Jay, every elementary school in Lexington maintains book bags for each grade. Estabrook began its program three years ago with a grant from the Lexington Education Fund.
"[The book bags] help children ... understand all the different cultures and backgrounds at our school," said Jay.
The kindergarten bag contains several books discussing diverse families and customs, directions for an Indian card game, a music cassette tape, hand puppets of people of different races, a recipe book which families can use to add to, a journal for the children and an anonymous parent feed-back form.
Jay said the book bags were designed to be a tool to help parents teach children about diversity and it is an opt-out program. Parents can inform the school if they do not want to participate.
Jay said the book selection was done after close work with the school librarians, who selected the books using the same policy designed for library book screening. All the books in the book bags can also be found in the school library. The school Web site also contains a description of the materials inside each of the book bags. Jay said the program allows the students to be exposed to a wide range of people, cultures and families over the six years they attend the school.
"[The book bags] reflect all the ways people are diverse," she said, adding parent response to the bags has been "overwhelming positive."
Parker objected to the depiction of two same-sex families in the book "Who's In A Family," which appears in the kindergarten bag. The book is mainly a picture book with one or two short sentences on each page showing a wide range of families. Parker was concerned over the possible perceived connection between homosexuality and human sexuality by the book's content.
In regard to the images in the book, which show children outside with their moms washing the family dog and a girl helping her two dads set the table, Hurley said the connection to anything other than family is hard to grasp.
"You'd have a hard time convincing me that this is sexuality," he said. "[The book is] parents and kids doing activities together."
Under current school policy, parents are notified when sexually related material is taught in the classrooms, with the option of removing their student if they choose. Parker was allegedly concerned the depiction of these family units was in violation of that policy.
"The only action I would take is if someone felt they were being forced to use this," said Hurley, adding the book bag program is optional and not required.
"I don't view the issue of a book with two mommies as teaching anything about sexuality," said School Committee Chairman Tom Griffith, who heard Parker's concerns at the School Committee's public session on Tuesday, April 26.
Parents are provided with information regarding the diversity book bags at back-to-school night in September. Vicky Parker (no relation to David Parker), co-chairman of the anti-bias committee at Estabrook, presented the book bags at both back-to-school night and at an event for new Estabrook parents over the summer.
"My thought is ... all these different kinds of families exist in our school and all these books are doing is saying just that," said Vicky Parker.
Vicky Parker said David Parker attended several anti-bias committee meetings and raised his concerns.
"I really tried to listen to him and understand what was underlying his concern and see if we could find some common ground," said Vicky, who understood David Parker's objections to encompass any institutional representation of non-traditional families.
Vicky said in response to David Parker's arrest many parents have come forward to support the efforts of the anti-bias committee.
While Vicky Parker and Estabrook have felt the comfort of their community, Hurley has been receiving angry, sometimes threatening, e-mail from around the country regarding the arrest of Parker. Hurley said, however, he refused to create a "climate where children are singled out." He spoke of books like "Catcher in the Rye" and "Huckleberry Finn," now considered assets to curriculum but were one time banned from schools.
"Schools have always had to struggle with what's important for kids to know," he said. "Schools would be trapped in time if we tried not to upset everyone's personal views."
Meg Soens, an Estabrook parent with twins in the second and fifth grades and an anti-bias committee member said Parker's concerns and request of the school was very upsetting to her family.
"As a lesbian parent, it's difficult," she said. "Our families are here ... we need to be welcome and [have] our kids feel included."
Soens said she was at a few of the anti-bias committee meetings Parker attended, voicing his concern over the same-sex families in the diversity book bags.
"The resources ... have got to reflect all of us," said Soens. "Excluding any mention of gay or lesbian headed families ... it's a disturbing thing. It doesn't feel good."
Soens added the issue at Estabrook goes beyond books or parent notification.
"It's sending messages either overtly or covertly not to say anything ... to make our families invisible," she said.
Parker's next court date is set for June 1 in Concord.
Jay said things at Estabrook "are proceeding as normal."